Cheap Bar Song

First there is the way she looks;

ok, be all smart and mature

but when you saw her the first time

something in you changed and you know it.

Then there’s what she is

which if that doesn’t humble you

down to your hairless shins

you might as well go back

to grazing with the cows.

Then there’s who

which takes a long time

though some men will say it doesn’t

as they are prone to lie,

for the real “seeing” of a woman

is years in the making,

just glimpses now and then

until one day you notice her

in her everyday coat,

arms crossed against the wind

and you know God’s blessed you

in a way none of your maneuvering

could have deserved and won’t again

so some part of you settles in

for the long haul

that every cheap bar song

moans about as love.





24 Responses to “Cheap Bar Song”

  1. Robin Bryant says:

    A beautiful response to a woman fully being seen, and a man being deeply thankful!

  2. T Johansson says:

    By George, I think you’ve got it!

    Hugs & Blessings,
    Sista T

  3. Jude says:

    whoa did you name a knowing, and a longing.
    we women know when we are known this way.

  4. Maria Frid says:

    Amazing Don………may all women hear these beautiful words being whispered in her ear.

  5. Christy White says:

    Wonderful! And so true. I was recently really seen by a man I’d known for many years and it was a true gift. I like what your poem says about it taking a long time to truly see. A reminder to both men and women.

  6. Xavier Coleman says:

    Awesome truth Don ” for the ‘seeing’ of a woman is years in the making”.

  7. Lloyd Meeker says:

    So beautiful, Don — thank you. For me, this is about love. Because I am wired to love other men, I see my husband in the poem, and join you in reverence for the love in deep relationship. Seeing of a husband is years in the making, too.

    And maybe it’s seeing love itself that is years in the making.

    Thank you.

  8. Tom Wishing says:

    Nice one, Don. Or, to quote the Supremes, “You Can’t Hurry Love.”

  9. David Banner says:

    Don….thank you, dear friend…this is the story of my life with Diane Banner….after 30 years, I feel that I can finally SEE her!

  10. Andrew Shier says:

    Thanks Don. This poem reminds me of what awaits the virtues of patience and humility. To know that “God has blessed you” is the most amazing feeling experience.

  11. Andrew Shier says:

    Thanks Don. This poem reminds me of what awaits the virtues of patience and humility. To know that “God has blessed you” is the most amazing feeling experience.

  12. Thanks Don, reading this rouses such lovely feelings, the tone, the richness of a close relationship and how deep we can go when committed to really know another and ourself for it seems we cannot know another lest it is revealed through another. I truly enjoyed the poetry in motion, not just the meaning of it.

  13. Adrianna Carr says:

    This one has Linda Ethier written all over it and, yes, you are an incurable romantic with a sometimes pragmatic side. We all love that about you.

  14. Ron Laws says:

    How many yrs it has taken for the eyes to focus on that which is so sweet; delicate and calling _ such a loving spirit the heart knows

  15. Bill Dare says:

    Ah yes… woman is a gift from… sorry, only into our 4th decade, still discovering, Loving the Journey.

  16. donnarheath says:

    Thank you Don for describing the long deep gaze of committed love that learns the deep unfolding of the beloved and the lover.

  17. Marco says:

    ROFL (that’s “rolling on the floor laughing”!). Thanks for speaking to the seemingly (only) banal magic of unexpected meetings and attractions. Brilliant!

  18. Not only do you speak of learning to see a woman (which I deeply appreciate) you speak of a man maturing sufficiently to see himself. Cycles of sight. Thanks.

    BTW, as a native Texan…this poem ain’t from a bar and it ain’t cheap.

  19. Ha! Funny, twisty, and true! Robert Bly would love this poem and find an honorary place for it in The Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart. Neat and crusty deoarture from your customary tone, and I like the popular culture mixing in.

  20. Mark Dellamano says:

    Judging from the number of comments you struck a chord with this one, certainly for me. It’s our inability to see the vulnerabilities in others that keeps us from truly seeing and loving them. “Arms crossed the wind,” carves an image that invites us to love that one solitary being who ultimately is as alone, and vulnerable, as we are.

  21. Steven Crozier says:

    Deeply touched, Don. Thank you.

  22. Bob Hollis says:

    Reminds me of the Zulu greeting ” sawubona” meaning I see you.
    Very thoughtful and lovely poem. Thanks Bro!

  23. Pichay says:

    Thank you, Don. Deep feeling is arroused…

  24. Athena Coleman says:

    It takes an amazing woman to be able to handle being seen as she is described in this poem. Your words clothe the grace of her being and your willingness to see this. You both are indeed fortunate, as are we.

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