Portion Left Behind

Part of me remains on the island

a serpentine shard of soul

wedded to the immovable

standing against the gray fog

crawling up the channel

more rock than flesh

more gull cry than voice

I hear it far away

feel it in my wandering feet

reminding me what must be given

in love’s subtle measure.


 


15 Responses to “Portion Left Behind”

  1. Christy White says:

    I really like the feel of your poems. Very connected with the earth and her jewelry!

  2. Doyle Banks says:

    “wedded to the immovable” – an astute image and observation in a world of impermanence. And an appropriate piece of “self” to leave behind. Thanks, Don.

  3. Thanks, Don. Oh my, how many places have a part of me still thriving there and here, in my heart/memory. It’s because I loved them so…

  4. Christy White says:

    Thank you for letting me know you are open to some input. I have been looking at my poems with a cutting eye and often my last line is like I want to put a bow on the present to prove it is a present. Lots of last lines are going on the cutting floor lately. And they are so pretty!! Maybe I can make a new poem!

    So, just one suggestion for this poem. If you drop that last line, since it is already your title and in your first line, your ending line would be “by the measure of love”. It strengthens the poem.

  5. Bill Dare says:

    Just what this man needed to share… thanks for your generous Spirit.

  6. Judith McGee says:

    Don, this one is powerful. I can feel the moment.

  7. admin says:

    Really appreciated your suggestion. It did strengthen the poem and the image it intends to convey. Thank you!

  8. Eilish says:

    This is a great poem. I can feel your love of the island, and the sadness to leave it behind. Love, e

  9. Robin Bryant says:

    Don, to witness your depth of love, is a gift for all souls. You have
    given me a pulse of your immense vulnerabilty and tenderness which ‘speaks’ beyond measure, and engages my connections to all of Life! Thank You!!

  10. This is just beautiful. Simple, powerful and moving. Thank you.

  11. Sandy Jensen says:

    Hmmm I just spent a week on Whidbey Island on the Scatchet Head Beach, so I am all about this poem!
    I wonder if you need the word “colored”? Leave it out and you get two meanings of serpentine, which is cool.
    I’m not yet convinced by the last line. A measure is a solid portion or chunk. Your emotional through line involves wandering and feet, so I’m feeling for a less solid or definite closing of the door.
    But that’s just me.
    My favorite section is:
    “more rock than flesh

    more gull cry than voice”
    That really is unusual and sends imaginative ripples across the waters of my imagination.Thank you!

  12. Kay O'Neill says:

    This touches something in me–as all your poems do. I need more time to reflect on the something . I look forward to a new insight. Thank you Don

  13. admin says:

    Thanks Sandy. I’ve taken another go at the poem, tightened it per your suggestions, and like the results.

  14. Christy White says:

    Okay, now I’m beginning to wish I’d written this poem!! Excellent! Evocative lines, emotion and power carried all the way through!

  15. Nancy Rose Meeker says:

    Beautiful, Don.
    The changes are subtle but potent.
    I have just spent a week in the area of Sunrise, with some time on the Ranch and some in the beauties of Colorado. I find a portion of me is left behind in this landscape as I prepare to head back to England…

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